melissa explains it all

So many feelings

This song falls under two of our favorite song categories: 90s Hits and Ambiguous Songs. Let’s get right to it.

You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all this pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they’re gone so fast
And they’re gone so fast

I would just like to establish that the ages of the band members ranged from 11-16 when this song came out. And yet they’re acting like they’re Yoda or something. Please.

So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they’ll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care?
Can you tell me who will still care?

…Is it just me, or does this sound like one of those overdramatic, cry for help songs? Apparently MMMBop started off as a ballad. I think that long hair was hiding something.

Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba do bop, ba duba dop
Ba do bop, ba duba dop
Ba do

Well, that cleared up a few things.

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It’s a secret no one knows
It’s a secret no one knows

I’m sure they’re trying to be symbolic. Or at least I hope they are, because unless there’s a drought or something most of those things are going to grow even if you don’t put too much effort into it. Maybe their seeds aren’t growing because they are smothering them with too much love. Or hair.

In an mmm bop they’re gone
In an mmm bop they’re not there
In an mmm bop they’re gone
In an mmm bop they’re not there

This is really depressing. They have me thinking about the fragility of life and the fact that it could all end soon!

Until you lose your hair
But you don’t care

Teehee. Nevermind. Now I’m thinking about how much they’d care. It’s like Samson up in hea.

Mmm bop, ba duba dop
Ba do bop, ba duba dop
Ba do bop, ba duba dop
Ba do

That definitely brings some levity to the situation as well.

Can you tell me?
You say you can, but you don’t know
Can you tell me which flower’s going to grow?
Can you tell me if it’s going to be a daisy or a rose?
Can you tell me which flower’s going to grow?
Can you tell me?
You say you can, but you don’t know

Jesus. Yes, I CAN! All it takes for a flower to grow is FOOD AND SUNLIGHT.
They’re really competing with Scary Spice in who can be more annoying in a song. And then they have to be all pissy about it. They really do think they know it all!

Hello again.

As my first real post from my totally unplanned hiatus (re: Mardi Gras) I shall tackle the trailer for the one and only Honest Abe in “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”

00:08 The flickering lighting portends the fact that this is a legitimately scary movie and NOT to be confused with the upcoming Lincoln biopic starring Daniel Day Lewis.. Duly noted.
00:19 Damn. This thing’s serious.
00:27 OKAY WAIT WHAT? Tim Burton? He is the MOST serious! I thought this was gonna be another Snakes On a Plane! I want my unspent money back!
00:30 They’re really committed to this dramatic slow-mo, aren’t they?
00:36 Whoa. This is a lot of expensive CGI action going on. So, they really DID put a lot of money into this movie? It’s like how we waste so much food when people are starving in Africa! Think of all the thought-provoking independent films that couldn’t get made because of this movie.
00:51 Almost a minute in and I still have no idea what the movie is about (but for the title). Admittedly this type of mystery is what makes me shell out money for movies in the first place, so, touche.
00:55 So THAT’S what presidents do behind closed doors! Figures.
01:05 I really wanted to laugh when the “Vampire Hunter” finally came up because I thought it would be overly dramatic and therefore give away that this whole thing is a joke. But it’s still so serious!
01:10 I can’t even.

Verdict: This is not the parody I was expecting, but I will most likely still get drunk and pay full price to see it. Ugh.